The Top 5 Ridiculous Things RomComs Made Me Paranoid About

I love my RomComs. In fact, for many years, I watched them almost exclusively. At age eighteen, I had seen She’s All That, starring Freddie Prinze Jr. a dozen times, but had never seen Chinatown. I have since expanded my film palate. However, having grown up on romantic comedies, I realized that there were a handful of things within these movies that I had an odd (and rather unrealistic) paranoia over. In no particular order…

1) A Man Arriving at my House Without Notice
In almost every movie, a love interest will inevitably surprise the other by showing up randomly at their house. Sometimes when they’re sick. SICK! Have you SEEN me when I’m sick? The sight is not a pretty one! And because of these stupid, wonderful movies, I had an inexplicable fear of someone I liked showing up randomly at my door when I wasn’t ready. Even when I became an “adult” (::snort:: that still feels weird to say!) and moved to NYC, this fear lingered in the back of my mind.

“I’m just a girl. Standing in front of a boy. Asking him to text me before showing up to my door.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2) Whenever You’re Happy, Something Bad Will Happen
Just when I would find a happy groove in a relationship and everything was going great–that paranoia would inevitably set in. Things aren’t supposed to go well, right? There’s supposed to be tension…drama! And I would wait for it, fingers drumming along the table as my eyes shifted about the room nervously. Nothing’s perfect. No one’s happy for long. Not until AFTER some sort of conflict–then, and only then do you achieve your happily ever after!
And yes…this was a ridiculous notion.

3) Someone Confessing Their Love to Me in Front of a Huge Crowd
In almost every romantic comedy, there’s a moment–a grand gesture in front of a huge crowd of people. The guy will stand on the bleachers singing “You’re Just Too Good to Be True” in front of your team mates. Or the girl will get up in front of the entire school at the biggest sporting game of the year waiting for her first kiss. Or he’ll chase her cab on his motorcycle just to stop traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge so that he can apologize! The opportunities for showing love and affection in front of a massive audience are ENDLESS. And as a shy girl? They were also terrifying.

 

 

 

4) Angry Kissing/Angry Sex.
When I was young…I just didn’t get it. (Okay…honesty time? I still sort of don’t) The LAST thing I feel like when I’m pissed is kissing the mouth that made me feel so livid. So the thought of a guy grabbing me and kissing me while I’m mad and yelling? Less sexy and more “do it again and I’ll punch you in the nuts.” Maybe it’s just never been done correctly with me. Or maybe I have anger management issues. ::shrugs::

5) Someone Interrupting My Wedding Ceremony.
This one especially was a bit far fetched. I mean, after all, just WHO did I think I was? Julia Roberts? Rachel McAdams? Katharine Ross? NO! But especially when I was younger, I thought this was pretty much status quo. Inevitably in life, you would THINK you found the person you were to be with because he was “safe.” But in actuality, it was the passion filled OTHER guy who you REALLY loved. And you wouldn’t realize this until you were at the alter, waiting to say “I do” and he would run in to stop you. It’s CRAZY! What creeper would ACTUALLY do that??? But I’ll admit it…even on my wedding day, when I was 29 years old, I had a moment of “Oh my god, would someone do that? Is one of my crazy ex’s gonna come running down that aisle after me?” Guess what? They didn’t. Because NO ONE DOES THAT.

 

BONUS! 6) Kissing in the Rain
In theory, it sounds sexy. But in reality? It’s cold. It’s wet. And we’ll probably both catch pneumonia. No thanks.

You think it will be like this….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But REALLY, it’s like this…