Katana Collins

CRUSH AND BURN: Unknown Callers

February 25, 2013 Leave a Comment

Phone calls. Oh, how I HATE receiving a phone call from a number I don’t recognize. It seriously gives me heart palpitations. And THEN if said caller doesn’t leave me a voice mail…UGH! It’s like floating down Awful River towards Sucktown in a canoe named Terrible with Captain Wretched. And then I spend the rest of the day/night agonizing over WHO THE HELL CALLED ME? What could they have wanted? What if it was important and why, oh, why am I so stupid to screen my calls.

Then usually after hours of stressing, I press the button and redial the number, cringing with each ring and silently praying Pleasedon’tanswerPleasedon’tanswerPleasedon’tanswer…

However, a friend of mine recently introduced me to SLYDIAL. This is BRILLIANT. It’s a program in which you call a number through another number and it will direct you straight to their voicemail. Slydial…if you ever need a spokesperson, call me. Katana Collins will proudly sing your praises!

Which leads me to another CRUSH AND BURN list.

This week’s BURN list goes to:

1) Unknown Callers who don’t leave messages.
2) Taxes. This time of year is a one-way ticket to Sucktown, too.
3) Missing board game pieces.

And this week’s CRUSH list goes to:

1) Slydial (duh).
2) Gidget movies. Particularly the first one with Sandra Dee. I even made Sean watched it and he didn’t throw up! That’s a win!
3) New workout clothes. It was time to trade up from my ripped yoga pants.
4) Salami and cream cheese. Don’t mock…it’s delicious. Try it!

Book Trailers…Worth the Work?

February 15, 2013 Leave a Comment

I’m coming up to that point where I need to decide whether or not to create a book trailer. When they are well done, I think they are fabulous and a great promotional tool. However, I’ve seen many that are–well, for lack of a better word, we’ll call them “less than stellar.”

And I fully admit that this is absolutely just my opinion. There are probably lots of readers who peruse YouTube for book trailers just to see what’s coming and get excited about new releases. And that’s fabulous! Some writers would probably prefer to have something uploaded, even if it’s not perfect, to create interest rather than nothing at all. I, however, feel quite the opposite way.

This is obviously the perfectionist in me talking. But if I am going to do something–I want it to be absolutely fabulous. I don’t want to use pixelated, free stock images and Papyrus font that essentially just copies the back cover text. I want to use B-Roll. Film an actress who looks like my character. Have a narrator. However–that is a ton more work and money to pay actors, videographer and even more time.

So, I’m curious. Is it worth it? Anyone out there created a book trailer that got a lot of hits despite using low-res stock images? Anyone out there that invested a lot of money into their trailer just to find it only got 10 hits on YouTube? Or was your experience the opposite? You invested money and it was a hit and a ton more people knew you existed because of it?

I want to know! And when I experience it for myself…I will certainly keep everyone updated!

Crush and Burn

January 15, 2013 1 Comment

You know how in coffee shops, they have little plastic stirrers that just sort of sit out? And there’s no way possible to take one and only touch the ONE you’re taking? Well, I’m a bit germaphobic (I think living in NYC makes one become paranoid). What with the flu epidemic and subways and SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES to share germs here, the thought of those stirrers or any sort of communal “grab it” item makes me cringe. And let me tell you–I spend at least 3 days a week writing at a coffee shop.

Today, I was at one of my favorite coffee shops–it’s practically perfect in every way. Great food, strong coffee that most would compare to motor oil (YUM! Motor oil), cool vibe with decent art and fun bluegrass decor. And it’s close to my home. BUT (and this is a big but), they have the communal coffee stirrer jar. And today specifically, right before I got to the table where all the coffee fixins are, a man came out of the bathroom and as he reached for a stirrer, he must have touched every single stirrer in the jar. GROSS. And sure–it’s POSSIBLE he washed his hands. But it’s also totally possible that he either A) did the quick 2-second rinse sans soap or B) didn’t wash at all. And let me tell you, those hands looked BONE DRY. Not the sort of bone dry that a paper towel can achieve, either.

Urine Stirrers are their new name.

Soooo, without further ado….this installment of Crush and Burn.

This week’s CRUSH list includes:
1) Crock Pots. Because they totally make my husband think I’m a better cook than I am.
2) My giant 112lb dog, Red. Because he thinks he’s a lapdog and looks at me with his giant adorable droopy eyes.
3) Barbie Dolls. Because my niece thought I was a total rock star when she opened her (belated) Christmas gift.

This week’s BURN list includes:
1) Urine Stirrers. Because…I mean, c’mon. Gross.
2) Sick husbands. Because my office on work days is the couch. And on sick days, that’s (understandably) where he wants to be. Nor does he (not understandably) want to watch Friends all day.
3) Sugar. Because as much as I love it, it finds its way onto my tongue, burrows into heart and forever stays on my thighs. DAMN YOU, SUGAR!

Katana Collins

Footer

Follow Katana!

Like on Facebook