anxiety

I get really stressed out when I have to guest blog somewhere. Like…REALLY stressed out. The kind of stressed out where you eat a bag of Hershey kisses, dunk your head in cold water then proceed to curl up on the couch in fetal position.

Okay, that might have been a lie. I eat two bags of kisses.

Anyway, this is the reason I don’t guest blog on many sites. First of all–what the heck do people write about? Second, there’s usually some sort of contest that goes along with the post…do I have to choose the winners? Send the prizes? I know there’s random comment picker/generator things so that it’s fair, but WHAT IF I DO IT WRONG!?!?! I’m kind of a perfectionist. And lastly, some of these sites have specific themes they want you to write around. Like, for example, spring. SPRING.

Seems easy, right? I assure you it is NOT. At least not for this girl. And this one is supposed to be easy–all I have to do is find a passage in my book that is related to spring. Only–I don’t know that that passage actually exists in my book nor do I have time to go through and read the dang thing for the fifteen billionth time in its existence on this silly planet called Earth.

Oh, the woes of a writer, huh? Happy Wednesday to all my lovelies reading out there! I’m off to scour for spring…

Phone calls. Oh, how I HATE receiving a phone call from a number I don’t recognize. It seriously gives me heart palpitations. And THEN if said caller doesn’t leave me a voice mail…UGH! It’s like floating down Awful River towards Sucktown in a canoe named Terrible with Captain Wretched. And then I spend the rest of the day/night agonizing over WHO THE HELL CALLED ME? What could they have wanted? What if it was important and why, oh, why am I so stupid to screen my calls.

Then usually after hours of stressing, I press the button and redial the number, cringing with each ring and silently praying Pleasedon’tanswerPleasedon’tanswerPleasedon’tanswer…

However, a friend of mine recently introduced me to SLYDIAL. This is BRILLIANT. It’s a program in which you call a number through another number and it will direct you straight to their voicemail. Slydial…if you ever need a spokesperson, call me. Katana Collins will proudly sing your praises!

Which leads me to another CRUSH AND BURN list.

This week’s BURN list goes to:

1) Unknown Callers who don’t leave messages.
2) Taxes. This time of year is a one-way ticket to Sucktown, too.
3) Missing board game pieces.

And this week’s CRUSH list goes to:

1) Slydial (duh).
2) Gidget movies. Particularly the first one with Sandra Dee. I even made Sean watched it and he didn’t throw up! That’s a win!
3) New workout clothes. It was time to trade up from my ripped yoga pants.
4) Salami and cream cheese. Don’t mock…it’s delicious. Try it!

Guest Blogging

CRUSH AND BURN: Unknown Callers

anxiety

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